I guess it's time to move on...
So I took the bus back from Tampines Interchange today.. I hardly take the bus back coz i hate Tampines as it's always damn crowded.. Normally I would drop at Simei and walk back..Another thing about taking a bus back is that I would pass by her house.. And everytime I would be reminded of her.. Everytime the bus passes by that stop, I would steal a glance at the stop and hope that she's there to take the bus..
A couple of times it actually happened and my heart did skip a beat when i saw her board the bus.. However I did not have the courage to actually go up and talk to her.. Not even a simple acknowledgement that I noticed she's there.. "Stupid" you say, but i'm just happy that I saw her..
I remember when I met my friend to study for the O levels in Tampines Library.. While looking for a table to study in the research room, we saw her studying there too.. My this certain friend who knew that I liked her immediately chiong to that table to sit lol.. After that my friend smsed me "Happy rite ??" hahaha... While studying, my mp3 player was repeating Jay's - Kai bu liao kou song coz it really summed up what i was feeling at that time.. As such, everytime i play that song would remind me of her..
She did not board the bus today, but I've been thinking to myself every since we passed that stop.. "What is this you're doing? She has already made it clear that it's impossible between u 2.. Why are u still thinking about her? If you're doing something about it den it's still not that bad, but you dun even talk to each other anymore.."
It was then that I realized how foolish I've been all these years.. For close to 5 years since she told me that, I've been holding on to something that's impossible.. You know the email u receive when somebody accepts your friend request in friendster? I have kept hers since February 2004.. I have no idea why i kept it in my email.. I just didn't want to delete it..
Well but I guess it's time for that to change..
posted by `Cloud` @ 7:13 PM
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